4 Useless Arguments
There are 4 useless arguments we all engage in and yes the choice is yours, you can choose to engage in the argument or you can choose to abstain. But in most cases these arguments are really silly and are well below our dignity.
Not only are these arguments useless they can needlessly create enemies that otherwise could have become allies.
We can have these arguments at home but in this article I would like to share with you the 4 useless arguments and how they are played out in the workplace.
So the first useless argument we engage in is the “Let Me Keep Talking” argument.
This argument starts because people feel they are not being heard, and we all want to be heard… sometimes too much. We just keep going and going even after the final decision has been made.
And for some of us “Shutting Up” is hard. We are so bloody convinced we are right we figure if we just keep talking that the person will see our point of view and change their minds, when in fact we have lost the argument long ago we just don’t know it.
You know you have lost this argument when the decision make says things like: “I appreciate your input” or “I got it, next” or “If there isn’t anything else” or “Anything else on your mind”. You’ll also know it’s time to stop arguing when the decision maker cuts you off in mid-sentence, or changes the subject.
This is your cue, stop talking and say to yourself; “Ok I did my best to sell my point and I did not succeed, time to let it go”.
But do we? NO!!
Many people who have lost the argument will try and revisit the argument a few hours later, maybe a day or even a week later. What a complete waste of time and energy this is, you should have listened to yourself and “Let it go”
It’s like saying; “Hey what I meant to say was…” To late people have moved on and it’s time you did too.
Just remember you cannot win every argument, yes state your view and be passionate about your opinion, but when the decision has been made and whether you agree with it or not, it’s over. Let it go, and move on, you will have the opportunity to fight another day.
The next useless argument we have is: “Why did you do that?”
Here is an argument that is very pointless. And the reason it is, is because you have no idea what the persons or people’s motives are for doing something that will affect you.
In the workplace, people will do things that drive you nuts or do things that get you involved. And many people will spend hours or days trying to figure out why someone did what they did.
And even if you ask the person “Why did you do that?” you’ll never get a straight answer, and in most cases you will be met with hostility.
And if the person did have an evil intent they will never admit it, and if their motives were not evil, they will more than likely be hurt that you questions their motives by your unfair comments.
Hey if you think I am wrong; think about the last time someone questioned your motives, did you respond with genuine concern or did you get upset and feel like arguing? Be Honest!
Keep this in mind the next time you’re angry and you’re asking the question “Why did you do this?”
Plus what have you won in either attempt? Nothing.
The next argument is: “I had it Rougher than you”
Wow this is the perfect spitting contest where no one wins. Yes, many people did come from rough backgrounds and did have a hard time. But when you’re telling this story all you are really doing is trying to get people to admire you for have it tougher then you did. Plus it’s this is just a kinky and perverse way of bragging.
Pathetic, when you really think about it.
Think about having this argument, really step back like you’re watching yourself having this argument. Ok, now you’ve won the “I’ve had it rougher then you” argument.
Ok, what did you win?
I’ll tell you… NOTHING!!!
Other than the cheap entertainment value you’ve given yourself, you’ve accomplished nothing, so what’s the point. Forget the “I had it tougher than you” argument it’s pointless, no one wins this argument.
And finally the: “It’s not fair” argument.
I’m not talking about how you have the right to be treated with respect or being judged on your performance or women being paid the same as a man for doing the same job, these are arguments are worth arguing over.
The “It’s not fair” argument I am talking about is the ones where you feel you should have gotten the promotion instead of someone else or how the boss favors someone else or your department is receiving less resources while other are getting more.
Jumping up and down screaming “It’s not fair” just makes you look like a spoiled child. Sometimes things may not be fair, or I should say in your eyes may not seem fair.
A decision has been made, you don’t agree with it, or even worse you’ve been given the explanation for the decision and you feel the explanation was not good enough, but hey that does not stop you from asking for another explanation, just a heads up; now you’re just arguing all over again, just in a different way.
And even when you get another explanation, it’s still not good enough. The funny thing is because of human nature no matter what explanation you’re given, if you think it’s unfair, nothing will satisfy you.
You have to look at it this way, there are going to be people that are the decision makers, will we agree with all of their decisions, probably not. Will they be right or fair? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
The only thing that it means is someone else decides and you don’t. Arguing that it isn’t fair won’t change the outcome and it’s a waste of time, I know it sucks but move past it.
All of these arguments have the same end result, you don’t change the outcome, you’re not helping your company or your family and you’re certainly not helping yourself.
Be mindful of these useless arguments and avoid them.